It has been four years since Tanks passing. Its an anniversary date I have a hard time with the week before and the the second I wake up, the PTSD from that day haunts my mind and my heart as I recall why this day is so important to me.
BUT I’m here to talk about the positives, I want to explain why Tank was so important in my heart and my life and how he has made an impact on me now.
As I explained in a previous post “a year after” Tank was more to me than an animal or livestock. He had come into my life during a rough period where I had felt vulnerable, unimportant and to be honest like a mistake. He gave me a purpose to wake up when I felt like I had none and I had to make sure I went home because… who else would take care of Tank? This is is where my testimony for God and animal assisted therapy (AAT) began. Tank entered my life as just a fun cute little pig, he was something I had to learn how to care for, and little did I know he was caring for me in that process.
I had not heard of animal assisted therapy, I just knew I wanted to work with animals. I figured veterinarian was the way to go. I’d be able to have my passion of seeing and working on animals everyday. It wasn’t until after Tank passed and I had moved back to Arizona that I started to look for new career options. Something that still involved animals, but that I wouldn’t have to do years of school and only be in a surgical room. I actually wanted to be hands on working with the animals. Working with their personalities.
That’s what Tank taught me, every animal has their own personality, even if it’s a 150lb pig. That personality can even care about you more than just “this person gives me food”
Tank showed me that when I was sad or I was having a hard time, I didn’t need medicine. All I needed was him to lay his head on my leg. Or show me he knew how to say hi, it’s like he knew the right moments to make me laugh. He would jump on the bed and lay pressure on one side of my body. What I’m now learning in school is an actual therapy method.. but he just did it when I needed it. It’s like he knew.
For three years I didn’t need therapy, I didn’t need medicine and I felt good with him by my side. Of course we all go down our own paths and I still have a lot of growing and healing to do. But I know that Tank was in my life to show me my passion and to show me how I can help others in the future.
Animal assisted therapy is an amazing route of therapy. I’m so thankful to be on the journey I am now. I hope to create a blog within the next year of updates regarding AAT and what I can do for the public and those that would benefit from it.
We all have struggles and we all go through a different battle. I hope that now it’s getting easier for some to talk about those struggles and be open that you have had them. Because you’re not alone. We all have had our own ways of coping mechanisms and each and every one of us use different intervention. It’s about enjoying life.
Find your purpose, find what matters, and don’t be afraid to look for comfort in your pet you’re sad… it’s not atypical.
Thank you, Tank. I wish we could have spent more time together and I wish those in my life now could have met the amazing animal you were. Your name and memories will never leave my heart, thank you for showing me my path and my purpose.
The Higgy Farm 